My Blog

For those of you used to seeing only pictures here, check out the archives.  There were many words, far before the pics.

For the rest of you, hello, it’s been awhile.

As I have documented, several times, the past 8-10 months have been rough……REALLY rough.

As this deployment comes to a close and Ria is only a few days from being home for the first considerable visit (25 days) in a very long time, my mind is beginning to clear and I’m feeling reflective.

I stopped blogging awhile back.  At first, because I didn’t think I would have time, and eventually, because I lost every bit of desire to do so.

Almost a year later, I have learned…

While I do not NEED to blog, I KNOW how I have changed, and not for the better, without it.

Every day, I would struggle to have something positive and uplifting to say; something I was going through or had went through that I thought would help someone, in some way.

Every day, I would pour out my heart and while the words poured out, my heart absorbed them and I lived them.

Lessons:

• When the words meant to encourage others stopped, I stopped being encouraged.  Instead the stress and negativity of my daily life hardened my heart to, basically, what it was for the first 32 years of my life.
• It was so easy to tie into the previous lesson, how the Word….God’s Word…impacts my heart and my life.  I used to study His Word pretty consistently.  Most blog posts were derived from that study.  Again, when I left the Word, the Word left me.  No, of course God didn’t leave me, but I did indeed push Him out.  I had too much to worry about and didn’t have time for Him.  What a shame.
• It wasn’t until today that I realized how my words impacted lives.  During this deployment, I have not thought once about the daily comments, emails, twitter DM’s and Facebook messages I would receive from those impacted and from those offering support and encouragement for me.  I have had several offering support and encouragement since then, but not even close to how it was.  I miss that.
• There are lots of lessons, but none more important to me than this last one.  The people who know you….I mean REALLY know you and have known you for a long time…..You know, the people who knew the YOU before Christ entered your life???  I’m sure it’s not always the case, but I bet in most cases, those people are far more comfortable with the old you.  I can’t blame anyone for anything I do and I’m not about to start today, but I can tell you this:  Your friends from back then AND your family can present the biggest roadblocks in your Christian walk.  I went to Germany for 3 years, which made it a bit easier to become who I wanted to be, and more importantly, who I thought He wanted me to be.  But still, every phone call, email or visit with friends and family would bring out the old me.  It was much easier to be who I always had been rather than get the looks and attitude that came with being who I was around others.  What happens when you let that take place is during those times when God is distant (like an 8 month deployment) it’s MUCH easier and more comfortable to be THAT guy.

I still struggle today.  I cuss like a sailor around family.  I’m not going into specifics, but I’m a less than stellar role model when I’m around my 20 year old nephew.  That wasn’t the case back in what I’ll call The Blogging Days.  I was in the Word and the Word was in me.  My fire was bright and was not only seen by those who read this blog, but by those who would see me in person.  Yeah, I had my struggles and even more so around family, but I wasn’t this bad….like I am today.

And that’s the point of this blog post. Tomorrow doesn’t have to be a repeat of today.  We just have to choose the YOU we want to be remembered by.  The negative, foul-mouthed, instigator or the YOU that was built when Christ wiped your slate clean?  Luckily for us, He never forgets who He created us to be.

Our lives are but a blink of the eye compared to eternity.  That puts in perspective just how insignificant these past 9 months have been.  I’ll hold onto the good and be rid of the bad.  Tomorrow we start anew.  Does this mean I’m back in the blogging game?  Absolutely not.  I’m going to focus on His word and focus on using It in my life.  Never say never, but not right now.

As always…..Peace!

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.” (1 Chronicles 29:11)